


redtail's adventures in murder

by Veksur



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dark Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veksur/pseuds/Veksur
Summary: It had been an accident.Mostly.





	redtail's adventures in murder

It had been an accident, Redtail tried to convince himself. An accident that conveniently landed his sister’s predator dead at his paws. 

It wasn't his fault thistleclaw conveniently happened to be the only on that joined this specific patrol, conveniently happened to ask that Redtail show him some attack moves, conveniently happened to move into his claws’ way, and Redtail conveniently happened to land a killing blow.

Okay. Maybe it was only mostly an accident.

Kind of an accident.

Not really an accident.

Dear Starclan, Redtail really dug himself into a hole on this one.

\--

“Hello, Redtail,” Bluestar greeted kindly. “I was going to-”

“Okay, fine! I killed Thistleclaw!” Redtail wailed.

“What?”

“What?”

\--

Bluestar ended up punishing him with a firm talking to, which, in Redtail’s book, is a pretty light sentence for murder. 

He wasn't complaining, though.

\--

Redtail had to admit, it was pretty funny that he died by murder. It was slightly less funny that the first face he saw in Starclan was Thistleclaw’s.

“Oh. Hello, Redtail. What a shocking turn of events.”

“Thistleclaw?” Redtail gaped. “What are you- I don't-”

He purred, clearly pleased with himself. “You look so innocent!” 

He strode forward until his muzzle was barely a mouse-length away from Redtail’s. “You’re starting to look like Spottedleaf.”

\--

It wasn't Redtail’s fault he accidentally happened to put Thistleclaw in so much pain he would rather live in the dark forest for the rest of eternity, it really wasn't.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the single worst thing i have ever written and i am SO proud of it


End file.
